Why Christmas can be difficult — and how to cope

For some, Christmas is a season filled with warmth, celebration and connection. For others, it can be complicated, overwhelming or painful. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling low, anxious, disconnected, or simply “not festive enough” at this time of year, you are not alone. Christmas has a way of shining a spotlight on the things we struggle with — and it’s okay to acknowledge that.

The pressure to be happy

One common source of stress is the pressure to be happy. From advertising to social media, we’re surrounded by idealised images of smiling families, perfect dinners and beautifully wrapped gifts. These messages can make it hard to honour our own reality. If your year has included loss, financial hardship, family conflict, loneliness or health difficulties, the expectation to be joyful can feel not just unrealistic, but exhausting. You might start comparing your life to others, or feel guilty for not enjoying Christmas “properly”. Recognising this pressure, and gently challenging it, can be helpful.

Family dynamics

Many people also feel a strong pull toward tradition — even when those traditions no longer fit who they are or what they need. The expectation to “return home”, host gatherings, exchange gifts, or spend time with extended family can feel overwhelming, particularly if your relationships are strained. Some families have long-standing rituals that feel sacred to them; for others, traditions may feel restrictive, outdated, or even painful. It’s okay to create new traditions, pause old ones, or step back entirely.

Family dynamics can become more intense during the holidays. Old tensions can resurface when people are together in a confined space, and the desire for everything to go smoothly can increase stress.

For couples, the stress of coordinating schedules, managing respective families, and balancing differing expectations can put significant strain on the relationship.

Even when everyone has good intentions, emotional triggers from the past may come to the surface. Traditions that once felt comforting may suddenly feel painful, and friends or family may not always understand.

Financial challenges at Christmas

Finances are another challenge. Christmas often comes with increased spending (gifts, travel, events, food) which can be particularly difficult when costs are rising. Feeling stretched can lead to shame or anxiety, especially when children or relatives are involved. Reframing expectations, setting a budget, or planning low-cost alternatives can make a real difference.

Not everyone celebrates

And it’s important to remember that not everyone celebrates Christmas in the same way - or at all. Many families in Bristol, Bath and the surrounding areas come from different faiths, cultures and backgrounds, and some simply prefer not to follow Christian traditions. 

So how can we cope?

1. Lower the bar

Give yourself permission to redefine what Christmas means for you this year. You do not owe anybody perfection.

Ask yourself: What do I genuinely want? That could be quiet time, a simpler day, or choosing which traditions to keep and which to leave behind.

2. Set boundaries

It’s okay to say no to events, conversations or people that overwhelm you. If you feel pressured to interact with difficult family members, consider planning breaks, bringing a supportive friend, or leaving early. Boundaries protect your wellbeing — they are not selfish.

3. Take care of your body

Christmas often disrupts sleep, routines and food. Gentle movement, rest and nourishing meals help to stabilise mood and stress levels. Small rituals - like a walk, a cup of tea or journaling - can help you feel grounded.

4. Reach out

If you feel isolated, ask for support. Speak to a trusted friend, a counsellor, or a helpline. Sharing how you feel can bring relief and help you feel less alone.

Remember that Christmas is just one moment in the year. It does not define your worth or the value of your relationships. You are allowed to experience the season in your own way. Give yourself kindness - it may be the Christmas gift you need most.

Read our blog for more tips on improving family relationships and if you’d like support with relationships going into 2026, get in touch with us.